Dino Baskovic Can’t Lose

It was with great pleasure that I picked this piece off my feed reader a few weeks ago.  And I didn't need a Ph.D. in brain science or rocket surgery to read it.

"Gobbledygook" was a popular word with the late E. Zoe McCathrin, my first PR prof back at Kent State.  If you believe in Wikipedia,

[the term] was coined by former U. S. Representative Maury Maverick, then working for the Smaller War Plants Corporation, in a 30 March 1944 memo banning "gobbledygook language." It was a reaction to his frustration with the "convoluted language of bureaucrats." He made up the word as an onomatopoeic imitation of a turkey's gobble.

Zoe loathed technical jargon, such as with the topic of the above reference Times article, and warned me against using it with the press and other audiences.  I've passed this advice along to my own students and clients in the past, as well as offering Steve Krug's Don't Make Me Think* as a prime example of how (not) to write technical content.  And I can't tell you how many "best-in-class" press releases hit the wires that still must scrape Dack.com's infamous Web Economy Bullshit Generator.

I hadn't thought much about gobbledygook in years, hoping to have left it behind with the dot-com bubble.  Finding a suitable alternative for the term hasn't been easy, mind you: mularkey, bogosity, codswallop and poppycock are so Depression Era.  Baloney** always wins over.  And just as I'm about to spread yellow mustard on white bread, I get an email from a close colleague earlier this week suggesting I read a quasi-cognascenti's take on "direct customer engagement and influencer-leveraging relations."

Oh, boy.  Better brush off the bogometer.

To my colleague's admittance, the post is riddled with more Web 2.0 technobabble than even I can stand.  Even the title is daunting: "Social Media Smackdown Brewing between Twitterville, Tribalization, Groundswell, Appvertising, and Cause Marketing."  Appvertising?  Appvertising? C'mon, dude, you just made that up.

I don't mean to trash the post.  There are nuggets of wisdom in there for marketers better trying to understand social media.  The comparison between "tribalists, social colonialists and groundswell theorists" just might make for good fightin' words fodder.  Of course, it's hard to take anything off the blog remotely seriously after reading the masthead:

Leveraging the dynamic/symbiotic stability among enterprises, social tribes, and nomads between troughs and peaks in business cycles.

Pardon me while I guffaw.  That means "heartily roar with laughter" for those playing at home.  And how does the author "help teams realize their program’s strategic objectives? Through:"

Optimized Targeting, Tribal-Colonial Relationship Development; Integrated Brand Marketing Partnerships; Market-Media-Internet-Website Metrics and Analytics; Listening and Engagement Research; Social Media Strategy; Content Management; User Experience; Traffic Engineering; SEO; Continuous Process Improvement; Business Analysis and Planning; Project Management; Online Community Direction; Videography; Online Post-Production

Translation: "Hey, Google, please-please-please index me!"

Okay, I've suckerpunched this poor guy enough, and I don't even know him.  In his defense, he produces a decent video series on social media and makes valid points throughout, which is more than I can say about my own blog.  But can we ease up on the self-inflicted SEO, already?  Kinda makes it hard to hold intelligent discussions with other marketers and clients that simply need to make sense of the space.  The gobbledygook's gotta go.

"Omit needless words," says Krug.  I agree.  So did my late PR prof, "Sarto," Mies van der Rohe and Joss Stone if you really break it down.

* Now available on the Kindle.

** Thanks, Rob.

Now that "Rich Uncle Pennybags" is finally open for business, here are my first impressions of Monopoly City Streets:

• Slick interface.  Think "Command & Conquer meets Google Maps."
• Buying the streets I grew up?  Cool.  Rebuilding my old school and childhood home?  Very cool.  Owning high rise condos on Whiskey Island? Now we're talking.
• The fact that no other registered user in the world can touch my properties?  Now that is neat.  Unless of course, they own a bulldozer.
• Sharing my real estate prowess on Twitter, gravy.  Facebook, I wouldn't know...
• The game servers lag a bit and the official blog is a tad preachy, but it's free and I ain't griping.

MCS won't replace the kitchen table.  Sure, I miss my thimble, but that's not the point.  This isn't "online" Monopoly, which already exists on multiple platforms.  Nor is it a mere transformation of an American classic.  Rather, a transubstantiation of a ageless brand from gaming tradition to global juggernaut. 

Think of it.  Monopolists in Moscow, for example, snapped up parcels along Arbat Street faster than they could say "это очень дорого" within hours of the site going live.  Save the uber-wealthy, Muscovites can barely afford to stare into store windows along Arbat, much less live there.  But as of today, they are virtual landlords, competing with other consumerists around the world in a digital land grab not seen since Second Life.  The economics of EverQuest also come to mind.  Wake up, marketing!  This could be bigger than Mafia Wars, larger than Second Life!  We need banners and apps and contests! 

Maybe I'm wrong.  Second Life did lose luster over time.  Then again, MCS could be the next "next big thing," spawning countless cottage industries and consulting fees. 

That's the marketer in me talking.  What about the consumer?  Perhaps this fad will pass by my next blog post.  Or maybe I get hooked.  Would I pay for premium play?  Will I crave each session as I once did with Scrabulous (now Lexulous) on Facebook?  And this is light years ahead of Lexulous...

Time will tell.  For now, it's fun to frolic in the old 'hood.  Think I'll go grab another green house.

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