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From the Desk of Dino Baskovic

Human Torch denied bank loan

Anybody who has ever worked with me or had me for class knows that the legend of Ron Burgundy lives on in my comps.

For years, I’ve used the hedHuman Torch denied bank loan” for everything from wireframing to copywriting. It makes for quick filler between <h1> tags, takes less time to type than “The quick brown fox…” and is far less vague a prototyping construct than “Lorem ipsum.”

That, and it simply amuses me (though, a depressing chunk of my students still think I speak Latin). So it gave me great rapture to hack CNN’s t-shirt thingamabobber and try to mod my own swag. Alas, like the Torch, I too was denied. After a full day of blogospheric snickering, the CNN.com team finally read the chapter on URL crackz, and their accidental viral campaign is no longer.

Idiots.

Look, I honestly don’t know why CNN’s suddenly into textiles. I’m fairly certain others have the market on witty threads well cornered. And maybe they meant to drum up cheap buzz knowing full well bloggers would mercilessly tweak the URL string to make smarter (albeit sillier) headlines than can The Most Trusted Name in News, only to be “t-blocked” at checkout.

If this is some brazen experiment in “E-commerce 2.0″ turned lame SEO stunt, so be it. CNN is a for-profit venture, and if they can make bank hawking safer warez such as “Half-eaten Obama waffle goes up for bid” then by all means. But if you’re going to tug at my heartstrings, then at least let me pick up the check. I want my damn t-shirt.

Otherwise, just stick to the news and stop trying to make it. You stay classy, CNN.

In the fall of 2014, I launched a GitHub repo for assorted flavors of ‘lorem ipsum’ text inspired by literature, cinema and pop culture.